social media

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5 insights from a Facebook-free month

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Me on Facebook – no airbrushing this time

I am admittedly a bit of an odd duck: I love new ideas, people and conversation and am part of a couple of organisations that rely heavily on digital marketing to build community and get the word out about our products and events. You would think that, given this, I would be a social media natural.

Not so much, as it turns out.

This has not always been the case: I have been an avid Facebooker for several years, and have often joked that it’s my version of TV (I don’t even watch Netflix – I just never get around to it), in that it provides me with a variety of news, stories, and education that is part informative and part (mostly) pleasant distraction.

I faffed around with Twitter for a while and, after trying to reinvent myself and follow the plot on a few occasions have finally admitted that, as useful as it can be, I just don’t get it. Instagram I have never gotten the hang of, despite several of my nearest-and-dearest’s entreaties and clear affection for it. As for the rest of it, I have little interest or capacity to learn a new platform, developing a following and so on.

Just over a month ago I spontaneously gifted myself with not checking Facebook during a week-long family holiday. Like, really not going there. At all. I did not make any kind of announcement about my decision, I just decided to let it go. A week soon turned into a month, and, while I felt mildly curious now and again about reconnecting, I felt even more curious about the feelings and insights that resisting the urge has surfaced.

Other than sharing a couple of posts last week to welcome a new G Day team member and share an article that featured my wonderful business partner Suzanne, I have been off for over a month until yesterday: here are a few insights based on the experience.

  1. Tick, tick, tick. I can easily lose track of an hour or more surfing from one thing to the next, on top of a day spent mostly with my face stuck in a screen. I feel a similar sense of regret about the hour-plus that I spend driving every day: what would you do with a extra hour or more a day? I often complain that I don’t have time for yoga or gardening, two of my favourite activities: Hey Madeleine, how about you do the math on where those “extra” hours might come from? See you at yoga 😉
  2. It’s not just about time, it’s also about attention. In addition to my regular work with Lunapads and G Day, for the past 6 months I have also been actively working on a new business case on the side. Sure, I have had to carve out time to spend on this new project, but I have also had to carve out precious mental and creative bandwidth. Perhaps others have more of this than I do, however I have become somewhat guarded about how I “spend” my creative and emotional capital. I am feeling a bit cocooned within myself at the moment in order to focus and feed this new idea: social feels noisy and distracting at a time when I need inward quiet.
  3. When it comes right down to it, it’s not about Facebook: it’s actually about me. I have a ton of insecurities, that if not checked prior to clicking the blue F icon, can have a big ol’ party. It’s often said that others mirror us, for better or for worse. I find this to be magnified in the case of social. If I am not feeling 100% grounded, emotionally healthy and otherwise cool with myself, the comparison impulse gets triggered and all of a sudden, rather than feeling proud and excited by others’ accomplishments and moments of joy, I am feeling like a loser. I can also be a judgy so-and-so, another aspect of myself that I am not proud of that loves to make a self-satisfied appearance at these times.
  4. Appearances can be deceiving. Full disclosure: I am as guilty as anyone of putting on a perpetually shiny-happy face in social (profile portraits included!). One of my pet peeves is when people assume that Lunapads is perpetually “killing it” (can we stop using this expression please?). For sure, we need to celebrate ourselves and our successes: absolutely. Where is the rest of the story, though? The story about hard work, dealing with uncertainty, bad luck, bad timing, mistakes and misunderstandings, overcoming challenges, coming to terms with failure? My fear is that our social “lens” makes it look deceptively easy to aspiring entrepreneurs, or like there is some magical point that we reached long ago where we “figured it out” and are now just counting our money and going to parties.
  5. I missed the “about you” part! I miss my friends and learning about all the cool things that they are thinking and doing! Assuming that I am well and balanced, there are few things more delightful than seeing images of my friends and colleagues’ exciting life events, travel and so on. If I was to reach out and line up a coffee date or phone call to catch up with everyone I know and love, it would basically take the rest of my life: not gonna happen. I feel a bit sad about the cool moments, provocative opinions and interesting events and news items that I have missed.

Yesterday I re-entered the world of Facebook and have since found timely posts related to my new project, a disturbing video about the impact that social/our phones can have on our self-esteem, discovered great local events and “liked” (even Loved – because I do!) so many of you and your cool news and opinions. And – truth be told – I also skirted a ton of stuff for fear of doing another demon dance. Thanks for reading and hope to see you soon in the virtual – or in-person – world.